andy

A man is in bed with his wife when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over, looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" his wife says. He drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, and opens the door to see there's a man standing there "Hi there," says the stranger. "Can you give me a push??" "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," he says and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened. She says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??" "But it's after three in the moring," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push??" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah please." So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" And the stranger replies, "I'm over here, on the swing."

Do not, under any circumstances, deal with Clark Autolease. Despite the name, I should state they are nothing to do with Arnold Clark. Order (in writing) a UK Spec car and you get a Maltese import not to UK Spec. Legal battle ensues. Long story. Avoid at all costs.

I decided to do a little research and asked a local tree what it thought of this idea...

Not if you wipe the pages straight after []

Best: Glenshee Run - without a doubt Worst: Meeting Gayball Funniest: Meeting Gayball's pet goat Most traumatic: Gayball offering to show what him and his goat get up to in private.

Ach, I'm only taking the p***. I've actually suggested the very same idea amongst the Trials riders on my own forums, but for different reasons. They're losing long-established practice grounds due to complaints from nearby residents. Not over emmissions, but over noise. I suggested planting of trees and hedging around those practice grounds. Something that's going to be looked on favourably by the local authorities and tree-huggers, but more importantly would also help to muffle noise. I can see where you're coming from, albeit from a different approach.

Let's test what you can get away with.. No crude pop-up's - CHECK No crude adverts - CHECK Girl Shaves Her Hairy Beaver Video []

Do we do as much harm as Mummy from Corstorphine doing the school run twice a day, every day in her X5 because precious Tarquin and Rupert are too pussy to walk half a mile? I doubt it. Compred to tw@ts like that who use high-emission vehicles to do short runs about town and spend half their time in queues or jams, I'd reckon our contribution is negligible.

Gummy would buy into a Goat-tree. One for every day of the week []

Ditto. Wasnt convinced by the look at all, but saw one in black in Grieve's showroom and was really taken with it.

Video Linky [8-|]

It is teh S3x0r

Bollox. It's Wednesday. I've been waiting yonks to get a Goodbye Ruby Tuesday pun in. [] I'm sure you'll be back. awra best till then.

Spotted this in Tennessee earlier this year. No Daisy Duke though [:'(]

Gotta hand it to the Wilkmeister for telling it how it is!

Blimey. It's not been a good day for my hame toun on the SIDC forums. I don't know you, but from what I've read you're highly respected for your work. I'd go with Andyjdmsti's comments and sleep on it. Aberdeen has had a bit of a bashing today. I don't know if that has had any influence on your decision, but true enthusiasts who are willing to help others are few and far between. If you shut down then those who seek to shut you down have won. Is that what you really want? Sleep on it and have a rethink would be my humble advice.

I didn't. I think it's down to the terms with whoever they're using. As Norwich Onion were fine with monthly payments, I was okay. Some companies might not be hence payment up front.

You could try A-Plan. I was insured with Norwich Onion through them, but then tried Gary. He beat A-Plan by £135 and I'm still with Norwich Onion. When I phoned A-Plan to say I wouldn't be renewing, they asked what price I'd been given to see if they could match/beat it and admitted it was a bloody good price.

99% of that went whooshing over my head, but "on the way up the road with a big smile and a wee stiffy!!" has to go down as quote of the week! []

WK04 indeedy [] I spotted the Scoob and flashed her (ooer missus!) to come out then thought S**t! Hope nobody turning right thinks I was flashing them or I'd have been straight into the side of them. It was purely a Scooby flash.

If you use and back any, then go with Pepipoo. They're the guys currently backing the case through the European Court of Human Rights that could possibly make the current speed camera system, or at least the way they apply their version of the law (confession under duress without caution) illegal.

It was me that let you out at Grangemouth tonight. Sporting an SIDC sticker on the back windscreen and sounding sweet - though with that ground clearance under your exhaust, I wouldn't fancy taking on many speed bumps []

I didn't know him, but news like this is always sad. As they say - only the good die young. Condolences to family, friends and to yourself.

Taken from today's Edinburgh Evening News: POLICE have issued a warning to car sellers in Edinburgh following a spate of scams involving fake bankers drafts. In recent months, fraudsters using bogus drafts to buy quality second-hand cars each worth up to £10,000 have been targeting private sellers in the Capital - leaving them heavily out of pocket. The scams involve the fraudsters searching for second-hand cars in trade magazines and offering to buy them with drafts instead of cash or cheques. The drafts, which are used to show that money has been deposited into an account and are seen as a "safe money" guarantee, are fake but are forged to look like genuine bank documents. But after the fraudsters buy the cars, they then quickly sell them on to second-hand dealers at a fraction of the price - long before the original seller realises that the fake drafts have bounced. So far, five sellers in the Lothians have been hit by the scams andsimilar incidents have been reported to police forces across the country. Detective Sergeant James Lackie, from Lothian and Borders Police's road crime reduction unit, said: "It's a very professional, well-organised scam. "There have been five incidents where it has happened in our area in recent months, and other forces have also experienced similar frauds. "It's remarkably simple. Someone expresses an interest in a car that is being sold. "They come to have a look at it and then they make an offer to pay with a bankers draft. "The drafts look authentic enough and when the seller pays one in, it takes a couple of days before it bounces. "But by that time, the car has gone and the person selling it is left with no cash and no way of finding where the car has gone." Det Sgt Lackie added that the fraudsters often sell the cars on to other buyers or car dealers within 24 hours in order to cover their tracks. He added: "The beauty of the fraud is that it takes a few days for the draft to bounce and the thieves often sell the car on quickly at a knock-down price. "By the time you've realised that the bankers drafts are bogus, the car could even have been sold on a couple of times, which means that it's difficult to track it down or find the people who sold it. "And even if we do find the car, we then have to deal with the big legal wrangle of who actually owns it, as you could have three different people who have all paid money for it. "We don't know if it is the same people who are performing these scams, but whoever they are it's clear that they are very good con-men who have definitely done this kind of thing before. "We would urge anyone selling a car to take extra caution when accepting a bankers draft." A victim of one of the scams in Edinburgh, who did not wish to be named, said that he hoped the people who conned him would be caught and agreed that car owners should be especially careful when selling their vehicles. He said: "I thought that a bankers draft was as good as gold and there would be no problems with it. I never imagined that it would be a fake. "The emotional and psychological worry that this kind of scam puts on you is horrible. "One minute you think that you've had a successful sale and the next, you've been left with no car and no cash. It's like having it stolen from you. "Anyone that accepts a draft should wait until it clears before they part with their car. If not, they could have the same experience that I did." Auto Trader has offered advice about the scams on its website, telling sellers not to release their vehicles without confirmation from their own banks that the drafts are genuine. They also advise sellers to be particularly wary of potential buyers who ask to view vehicles after the banks have closed and then produce a bank draft already made out for the full asking price. • A 35-year-old man has appeared at Edinburgh Sheriff Court in connection with three incidents of fraud involving the sale of cars.

I wouldn't put a brillo pad anywhere near my wheels - and they're just the bog standard ones that came with the car! Wonder Wheels works for me. Sometimes takes a few applications to get the really stubborn crap off, but it does the job. I use it every couple of months and once every six months take the wheels off and do them properly. Strange you say the BACK wheels. My back wheels are never, ever bad and any brake dust on them usually comes off no bother. It's the front ones that are a pain to do.