edmondo

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE

Morning all.....First day back after 5 days off

That's it off for 5 days now....P.C at home riddled with virus's so will have to wait till i get back to work to log back onto SIDC. Oh by the way Mrs Ed has got her own stall at a craft fayre at Wellsway School near Bristol. Come on down and by from her vast range of Cards. Proceeds to Edmondo's Cambelt and Mod fund ( A great charity ). You all be good.....If not be careful. Hopefully back next Monday. Ed

Bl**dy Hell......I bought my Prodrive Back Box from someone on here for £100. Got it fiited for nought as have got kid in trade. Chuffed to bits with it and the guy brought it to me whilst I was on holiday in Norfolk.

I first remember seeing him play in the 1974 FA Cup Final.....I am an Everton fan but you had to admire the Liverpool team at that time. There must be quite a team up in heaven now. R.I.P Crazy Horse

Following on from yesterday we now have 2 sets of lights up outside plus a 2 foot tall lit Santa outside

<< << Howdy Folks....5 days off after today >> Shut up you nob >> aaaahhhhh m8.........Just think someone has to keep the wheels of industry turning

Howdy Folks....5 days off after today

Subject: FW: What would you do........? WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" > > > > HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" > > > > WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?" > > > > HUSBAND: "Of course I do." > > > > WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" > > > > HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again." > > > > WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face). > > > > HUSBAND: (makes audible groan). > > > > WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" > > > > HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house." > > > > WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" > > > > HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" > > > > WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" > > > > HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new." > > > > WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" > > > > HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." > > > > WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?" > > > > HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." > > > > WIFE: - - - silence - - > > > > HUSBAND: "SH*T..." THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE COP A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary stopped beside him on her shiny new bike. "Nice bike," the cop said, "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "He sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the D*ck goes underneath the horse, not on top." Its goodnight from me.......Catch you 2morrow

Mica Blue...Gorgeous and quick (tee hee)

Gotta a runaround....'W' Plate 1.25 Fiesta Zetec....Hell of a nippy car and as I have to drive in and out of Bristol everyday saving fortune on fuel.

We have had a huge clear out at home and got things like crayons , books & games if they are any good to you. If they are just let me know where and how to drop them.

Totally agree with you gotta put new Cambelt on car plus other expenses but Xmas even for me always has that bit of magic. My kids are 20 , 18 & 14 but I really enjoy Xmas with them. It just seems to me that this is the 1 time of the year when the family is all together. Just my opinion

Do I detect a lot of Bah! Humbug around today?

Even at my advanced years and despite copious amounts of the Amber Nectar I still am awake by 6am on Xmas Day. I do know mrs ed has got some "interesting" stuff for me for xmas. That means I do not think I am going to get Scooby Toys this year.

Wifey is a big kid when it comes to Xmas.....and why not?...With all lights and deccies etc it does take a week or 2 to test and put up.

Wifey just rang me at work to tell me that she was getting Xmas Decs down from loft , sorting thru and putting them up. Leccy Bill now gonna be huge cos of all the blooming lights. Time to write to Santa Now then what shall I ask for this year?

Don't mind this week....got Weds - Fri off so only doing 2 days this week ain't bad.

Morning all

Kids love the car.....seen adults stare as well.....Thought my car looked cool and then seen what some people have done to their Scoobies and start staring myself.

Subject: Fw: Little Old Lady A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo yyyou hhhave dddddiilllldosss?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models." The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk oone, ttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk?" The clerk replies, "Yes we do." "Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo tturrrnnn ttthe ffff***ccckkkiiinnnggg ttthingggg offffff????

Afternoon Guys and Gals...Not long got to work thanks to 14 year old brat.....Kids who'll have them. Thank goodness older 2 are 18 & 20 so I only have a couple more years of this kind of behaviour. Anyway this was on my E-Mail when I got to work and reminded me of what my kids were probably like when they were smaller. Little Billy Little Billy was sitting on a park Bench munching one Candy Bar after another After the 6th one , a man on the bench across from him said ?Son you know eating all that Candy isn?t good for you , it will give you acne , rot your teeth and make you fat?. Little Billy replied ? My Grandfather lived to be 107 years old?. ?Oh? replied the man. ?Did your Grandfather eat 6 Candy bars at a time?? ?No? replied Little Billy , ?He minded his own fu$$ing business?. A teacher asks her class , ?If there are 5 Birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them , how many will be left??. She calls on Little Billy. He replies, ?None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot?. The teacher replies, ?The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking? Then Little Billy says, ?I heave a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married??. The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies ?Well I suppose the one that?s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone?. To which Little Billy replied, ?The correct answer is the one with the Wedding Ring on but I like your thinking?. Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. ?Why?? asks the father. ?The Teacher asked, ?How much is 2x3?? I said 6? replied Billy. ?But that?s right!? says his dad. ?Yeah, but then she asked me, ?How much is 3x2??. ?What?s the fu$$king difference??asks his father. ?That?s what I said!?. Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, ?Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word??. Billy says ?Mas-tur-bate? Miss Rogers smiles and says, ?Wow, Little Billy that?s a mouthful?. Little Billy says, ?No, Miss Rogers, you?re thinking of a bl*wjob?. One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show off hands from those who could use the word ?beautiful? in the same sentence twice. First she calle don little Suzie, who responded with, ?My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and said she looked beautiful in it?. ?Very good, Suzie? replied the teacher. She then called on micheal. ?My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully?. The teacher responded, ?Excellent Micheal!?. Then she reluctantly called on little Billy. ?Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ?Beautiful, just fu$$king beautiful?.

Justifiable yes but not in this instance....Now if the young lady in question had dented or scratched said vehicle then that is definately gallow time.....Please don't tell mrs Ed that I said that though.............please.

Brissol is like the Bahamas today

Good Morning Sportsfans....Next Season Everton in Champions League