edmondo

Morning all.....Bl**dy Monday again

<< << Our little man is 6 next Wednesday! Hes the baby and its a bit sad that hes growing up so quickly. Then again Jessica is 16 (got a 13yr old and a 10 yr old between) and 16 is the worst..in fact 13 ct*p too!!! >> Janey you are a saint. 4 i can't cope with 1 Edmondo what your saying is there is no hope it doesn't really get much better. My parents used to foster when i was younger and my mum used to take 6 kids at a time during holidays. Don't know how she did it. >> It does get better....when they get to the age to buy you a pint down the pub.....You can start to use them as a taxi service etc

<< Must make you about 38 years old then m8 Correct......... bigknd >>

<< << << how old are you then??? >> I am 38 now.....39 in March...Almost the big 40...But like Vixter it still seems like yesterday when they were wee small kids....Oh dear ( wipes away a tear )....luckily now 1 is a mechanic and 1 is a tyre and exhaust fitter so all work is done at next to no cost. >> Got to say the 3/4 year old thing is not easy. When he was a baby. GREAT wish i'd never taught him to talk and walk. Please tell me it gets easier. find it hard on my own. >> Junior School and first 2 - 3 years Senior School is Ok.....Last 2 years of senior school and about the first year out to work you will need all the Mental strength you can muster. Once they are 18ish life returns to some sort of normality. Cos I got 3 and all the other ups and downs of life it is no wonder that me and my imaginary friend are still sane

Listening to Radio 2....Now playing White Stripe with Song " Jolene ".......This is Awesome about time these sorts of groups got airtime. When I was a teenager I was listening to The Meteors , Cramps , Frenzy , Clash etc.

<< how old are you then??? >> I am 38 now.....39 in March...Almost the big 40...But like Vixter it still seems like yesterday when they were wee small kids....Oh dear ( wipes away a tear )....luckily now 1 is a mechanic and 1 is a tyre and exhaust fitter so all work is done at next to no cost.

My mum and dad were grandparents at 38 thanks to yours truely so anything can happen......I cannot imagine being a grandparent " I'm only 17" at heart.

Well it's sorted.....My 17 year old who passed his test 2 weeks ago finally managed to get decent insurance sorted...We gave him our 00 Fiesta as he is 18 in a couple of weeks. Watching him driving away by himself for the first time just made me feel a little old. My 20 year old can drive but not taken test and my youngest is nearly 15 so in the next 3 - 5 years they will all be gone. YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loads still to do b4 going home....Really cannot b bothered....Just in need of a copious amounts of falling down water

Morning......Whoops Good Afternoon

I am a Piscean....No wonder the Hamster is afraid of me

Morning Peeps

I have only met a few...And they have been more than friendly

A very non PC one! Ethel loved to speed in her wheelchair and charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in. One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firmvoice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand. "Oh, good grief," said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"

Morning World

<< LOL! Where do u get all of your jokes from Eddie?! >> I work in the Newspaper industry so there are Reps / Circulation depts & even the odd retailer send me this kind of stuff. Also there are 20 or so branches of this company so there are usually plenty being E-Mailed around internally. I usually end up with about a dozen or so a day so the really good ones get posted on here. I just wish I could work out a way of getting the pictures I get sent posted. Cheers Ed

>A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his >mouth. > >A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. >"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, are my testicles black?" >Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to >wash >your hands and feet" > >He struggles again to ask, nurse, are my testicles black ?" >Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his willy in >one >hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, she >then >say's, "there's nothing wrong with them!" > > > > >Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very >nice >but, are... my... test...results...back?"

------------------------------------------------ At last, a decent chain letter as opposed to the normal chain letters/pyramid schemes. This one costs nothing and you can only win. Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates. INSTRUCTIONS. Anaesthetize your wife, put her in a large carton, (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post. Statistically, among those women, will be at least: 0.5 Miss Worlds 2.5 Models 463 Wild nymphos 3,234 Good-looking nymphos 20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms 40,198 Bi-sexual women In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER. One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial expression on her face. On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter). While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages. YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL. This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women). No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement. Do not hesitate........send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.

16...Not bad for this time of morning

Morning all

Mat E-Mail has come back as undeliverable Ed

I have some alternative car ads....2 problems. 1. I cannot seem to upload them onto the forum...in fact this happens with all pictures...can anyone tell me why?. 2. They do have some swear words anyway so it would not have been a good idea to try and post them anyway. If anyone wants to see these ( They are not rude or sexist or anything like that ) pm me with your E-Mail and I will forward them. Ed

Very true...very funny tho

Warms the cockles of your heart. About 4 weeks ago, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the multi-story car park as I loaded My car up with the gifts I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing the shop receipt which I would need to Get out of the car park without paying, so mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the shopping centre entrance. As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 10 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat and was just wearing a Ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold evenings chill. Oddly enough, he was holding two fifty pound notes in his hand, and Thinking that he had got lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong and he told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters and his father had died when he was seven years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs to make ends meet. Nevertheless, she had managed to scrimp and save two hundred pounds to buy her children Christmas presents. His mother had dropped him off on the way to her second job, and he was to use the money to buy presents for all his brothers and sisters and save just enough to take the bus home. As he had not even entered the shopping centre, an older boy grabbed two of his fifty pound notes and disappeared into the night. "Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked. "I did" the boy replied. "And nobody came to help you?" The boy stared at the ground and sadly shook his head. "How loud did you scream?" I enquired. The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!" I realised that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help, so I grabbed his other two fifty pound notes and f*cked off. >Three Labradors, one brown, one yellow and one black were sitting in the >>surgery waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation: >> >>The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?" The >>brown lab replied, "I'm a p*sser. I p*ss on everything....the sofa, the >>curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I >>p*ssed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black lab said, "So what is >>the vet going to do?" "Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the >>brown lab. "The reckon it'll calm me down." >> >>The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?" >>The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and >>trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up Carpets. >>But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole In my >>owner's couch." So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab >>inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too." the dejected yellow lab . >>Said. >> >>The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you Here?" >>I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, >>a pillow, the table, post-boxes, whatever. I want to hump everything I >>see. >>Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to >>dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and >>Started humping away". The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance >>and >>said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?" The black lab said, "No, I'm here >>to >>get my nails clipped." >> Have a nice day

Morning all