Young Irish girl is pregnant and has been experiencing pains for a few days. Finally her waters break and she's all alone indoors so thinks it best to call her mum, back in Ireland , for advice.
"Mum, its me and I tink me waters be broken. . . "
"Oh, be jaysus, tats good news. Tell me, are you by yourself?"
"Sure to be sure I am that mum, tats why I taut I'd best be calling you for advice, you be having had 10 children 'n all, to be sure"
"Tell me my luvly, where you ringing from?"
"Right now Mum I be ringing from my minge right down to my fooking toes!"