Paddy's sitting on the ice fishing when he hears a loud booming voice 'There's no fish under the ice here'. Paddy says 'Holy Mary, is that you yourself God?' The loud voice booms back 'No, you thick barsteward, its the Ice Rink Manager'
A couple were waiting up for their 16 year old son when he comes in with a huge smile on his face and announces 'I've just had sex for the first time and it was fantastic!' His dad beams and says 'I'll buy you that new bike you were after son, although I'll have to wait for payday' 'Thats fine' says the son, 'I couldn't sit on it for a while as my ass is too sore'
Tottenham groundsmen have picked up prize for their lush green turf. When asked how they did it, they said anyone could if they had £50million of ****e dumped on it every week