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Here are some good one liners for the more 'mature' members of the forum face-icon-small-wink.gif

Subject: Getting Older

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I got a sweater for my birthday. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "Terminal"?

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

Everyday I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mum's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

face-icon-small-happy.gif

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