glen_miller

A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation ... She is speaking in a cheery voice "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye." She hangs up the telephone, and her lover asks, "Who was that? Oh, she replies, that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having with you on his fishing trip.

LMAO![Y]

Not bored,took seconds with the old copy and paste![]

Useless Facts 1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F. 2. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." 3. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. 4. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie. 5. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. 6. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. 7. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. 8. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected after the original 7-ounce containers and 'UP' for the direction of the bubbles. 9. 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie. . 10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. 11. 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. 12. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly. 13. Reindeer like to eat bananas. 14. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple. 15. The word "samba" means "to rub navels together." 16. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots. 17. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. 18. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II Killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. 19. More people are killed annually by donkeys than airplane crashes. 20. A 'jiffy' is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second. 21.Glen spends to much time on the internet!!!!!!!![]

Who are they,any idea where they are from?

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So,the BIG question...which is best?

F...F...F...Fantastic![Y]

Jesus m8,what on earth have you done to deserve this madness? Hope the plod get it sorted for you.

He is a mobile mechanic,perfect! I can't say enough good things about the fella. Very reasonable prices for the quality service He provides(i might become His advertising manager at this rate!)[].

Dean; 07950953824 [Y]

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?" "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied. "We just love the chocolate around them." Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said: "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Andy replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?" Two flies in a teapot, which one's pregnant? The one up the spout. What do you call an exploding monkey? A Baboom. [][][]

I give up! lol[]

Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise"? "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it." So, Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Bush," his Boss quickly retorts. Yep", Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. The new Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time." So, off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure enough, half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened"? His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba"?

[Y][<)]

[Y] Well spotted Glen.......and you've only been a member here for a short while lmfao[]

http://www.ukskydiving.com/tandem.htm This place is the one,they already have the charity on their list(Ronald McDonald); http://www.skylineparachuting.co.uk/pages/...AodZ1W4Cg

So,what's happening? This club reminds me off the Judean peoples liberation front(or something)all sat around a table having meetings about having meetings! Come on,after a great start to this VERY worthwhile cause,the momentum has dwindled into reverse. Parachute jump,everyone wants to,loads of places will help,i'll get on it... "It's happening Reg,something's actually happening!"

Couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery springs to mind...

I can get a few pals together and go and solve the problem for you if you like?(i'm not 17 btw!) I've just re-read my post and thought 'what a kn*b!' pmsl!

Offer them a ride in your motor and drive it too some woods where every Subaru owner is waiting?

I retract my £10 and suggest(if i may be so bold!?) that we just buy it and divide the cost between the people on the list(if it gets bigger of course(ooer!)

Spotted Big Jays Scooby in the car park at tescos Gillingham,i waved at the car even though there was nobody in it(my missus thinks i'm more mental than ever!) Then a nice white Scooby and a silver wagon on the way home from tescos(watling street?),i didn't wave or flash as i was driving/talking/thinking and trying not to listen to the female occupants of my car all at the same time!