A Little Tribute To My Dad

[insane clown]

I just wanted to share the what i felt for my dad George Kilburn,...

My dad passed away Sunday 26th at around 3pm, age 77.... total shock,. he had been ill for some months with bad breathing, got worse and lost 2 stone in weight,.. in August he went in to Colchester general, for a blood clot, pneumonia, partial collapsed lung and COPD. 2 weeks of treatment he slowly got better and got some colour back. All the scans came back clear as did the blood test, when he got home he collapsed due to a sudden fall in blood pressure ...another night in hospital!..anyway as days go by he started putting the weight back on and getting on fine, he's breathing was really making him struggle though, couldn't walk to front door even, so we go the oxygen tanks and nebuliser to keep him going, he even bought a scooter so he could go out with my mum,....all the time he would ask if everyone else is ok, thought the world of our dog which he helped us get in may from a rescue centre. he still used to phone me after man utd had played, making sure we are all ok and don't need anything. Everyone of us thought he could get sorted and have a decent life with the help of drugs and breathing aides,... my dad was a very bright and brainey man, he walked 3 mile a day with the dogs which he adored, he spent in his early days sailing around the world visiting every port you could imagine, these were his days in the Merchant navy. he married his first wife and had 2 children, Marilyn and Kevin, he started work at Tilbury power station, he then divorced and re-married to my mum, i am there only child together, (my mum had 4 of her own from previous). He retired and we moved to Point clear bay, near clacton on sea in 1988. My dad was very uniform in what he done, very carful with money, nothing out of place and everything was there when you need it. My dad was my hero, my guiding star.

He returned to colchester general on Monday 20th, very unwell, he's home breathing aides were not enough this time. The man i see wasn't my dad, struggleing so badly to keep going, he could speak and see you but conversation was minimal, He wasn't impressed that man utd only drew with everton on wednesday!!.. We never thought it would end the way it did, on the friday we got called back to hospital as he wasn't too good, this was late evening, I came up with Julie, my fiancee. My sister Marilyn was there with her 2 daughters and partner, my mum and brother were there too. We were all told that he may not see the night through.

We sat by his bedside all night, i went home to take my fiancee back home and we both got some sleep,..after a day of driving back and forth and dad telling us to do the clocks in the morning!!. we went home for the night. Sunday morning my dad phoned from his mobile to my mum and she just made out he said that he wants my mum there, the nurse then phoned back to say we better go up.. i was at work and shot up there. about 11:30am we sat with him holding he's hand while trying to keep him going. The nurse said there is nothing they can do now.

At the same time my brother Kevin had flown over from Canada on a quick flight, he ws arriving at heathrow,... i phoned my sister to tell her to come up....they were 20 mins from airport... it was so tense that we all were together.. i don't know how they did it but they made it to colchester. My brother who had just flown across the atlantic to see his dad knowing he may not see him alive again.

My dad was hanging on, crying with every breath he took, he's eyes shut........Then my brother and sister walked throught the door,... holding our dads hand he said hello dad i made it ..it's kevin.... hello kev my dad replied with one eye open..............30 mins later my dad passed away.

Our world had ended,.. dad had gone and left us to thank him for the wonderful life he had given us all.

My dad was only told on the friday he had cancer, he also had an ulcer which was bleeding, and double pneumonia.

My dad survived TB whilst on the ships in the fifties.

The cancer was blamed on working at Tilbury power station for 30 years.

We knew nothing of the cancer untill the friday before....... that quick.

take care of yourselves,.. don't take cancer and the risks for granted.

R.I.P Dad.

mark

Edited October 31, 2008 by insane clown

[eurosti]

Mark, sincere condolences mate to yourself and the rest of your family at this sudden loss. I know how you are feeling mate, i lost my Dad in 91, i was in the gulf at the time, they did their best to get me back but it wasnt quick enough. Your Dad was surrounded by his loved ones when he left our world, may he rest in peace forever.

[frank c]

Condolences to You and Your Family Mark... Sorry to hear mate.

I also lost my Dad to cancer nearly 6 yrs ago now but sadly never got the chance to say my goodbyes....

Take care and my thoughts are with you.

Frank.

[emoe]

Mate, i feel for you, This is the hardest thing we do in our lives. its hard enough when the person is ill, but when they go and its a shock it tears you apart.

grieve, and grieve in the way you want to, dont Fell like you have to be strong for anyone.

I list my mother to Lupus while i was in the states, never got a chance to say goodbye and BA even messed the flight up and i couldnt get home in time for the funeral!

My father passed away this feb, suddenly in my arms why i spoke to him.

Its horrible, but inevitable.

My thoughts are with you and your family,

I wish you peace.

[granby]

Condolences to you and all your family Mark...i lost my mum to cancer and nearly my dad, i know it's not easy and you will never 100% get over it but thanks for taking the time to post, take care and my thoughts are with you all

[quagmire]

Sincere condolences to you and your family at this sad time. My dad is currently suffering with cancer and i know how draining it can be on loved ones, i also know what its like to lose someone suddenly as i lost my mum three years ago this month, she died of deep vein thrombosis on a flight back from tenerife, just like that.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Lee

[bockett]

Thoughts are with you and your family Mark. He sounded like a great man and i'm sure he was.

I too lost my father in 2000 when i was 16 doing my GCSE's. It is tough but you'll never forget the memories.

My father fort in the Korean war and like yours and many other's after all they went through it's such a shame that it's something like Cancer that does it in the end.

I'm glad the family were there at the end to say their goodbye's

R.I.P

George Kilburn

Edited October 30, 2008 by Bockett

[scoobyboo]

Mark, so sad to read this, having lost both my mum and my first husband to cancer I know how devastating it is. Your dad will live on in your heart and your memories and this will bring you comfort in time. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

[mikkers]

Very moving post mate, sorry for your loss. Reminded me of when my dad died 2 years ago. He lived in spain and i hadnt seen him since i was eleven as he did a runner out of blighty sharpish, but got a call 4 days before saying he was very ill, didnt really know whether to go and see him. Then got another call on the friday saying he really was bad, flew out on the saturday with my step sister (who i also hadnt seen since i was eleven), got to the hospital but he was so doped up didnt really know if he knew i was there, and he died 30 minutes later while i was holding his hand.

Everyone has their time, and from your dads point of view im sure he would have wanted to go like that, surrounded by a loving family. Couldnt think of a better way to go myself.

[scooby princess]

My deepest condolences go to you and your family.

I lost my father to cancer when i was 19, I remember that day and remember saying i wanted to stay that night but i was refused but 2 members of my family. We had a call at 4.30am and got to the hospital 5 minutes too late.........I will NEVER forgive those members of his family who stopped me from being with my father at the time he needed me the most. He was alone.

Take comfort in knowing that you comforted your father in his most needy moment and this must have eased his suffering.

Take care.

[s555cub]

so sorry to hear this mate, my thoughts are with you and your family!

i know it's different circumstances but i lost my cousin in 2005 (hercules bomber shot down over iraq) and it just puts things into perspective, life really is fragile and shouldn't be taken for granted!!

[myles]

Cherish the times you and your dad had, and redouble your efforts to live as he would want you to.

I lost my dad in 2006 to the demon drink, but our stories end in similarity there. Due to the drink being his no.1 priority, we had not had contact in ten years, apart from once when I decided to meet up with him, mainly to show him how I was getting on, car, RAF, wife etc. Drunk again (probably dutch courage due to having to meet up) when I arrived so I decided against putting myself and my kids to be through all that. Well, he had married another drunk a few years after being divorced from my mum, which aided in his downfall. To cut a long story short, I was a bit shocked but not surprised when i got the news that he had got back on the booze big time, and had become more and more frail, culminating in him falling down the stairs and killing himself.

When I went to the funeral, I wept like a baby, not because of all the good times, because, to be honest, there weren't many. I was distraught about the fact that I missed out on what I was due, a great relationship with my dad. Selfish I know, but Im sure my brother and sister, and to a certain extent, my mum felt the same.

Since then, those feelings have motivated me to be a better dad and husband (although I have my moments), and I hope that when I 'head off', my Mrs and kids will not have any regrets about our lives.

It sounds like you had a diamond of a dad there, keep his spirit alive by being the best you can be.

PS Its a shame about the Man Utd bit, but everyone has their faults!)

[wimpy]

This is a time that you should all be together. Life deals us so real crap cards at time but i know your dad will be looking down over you all knowing that you are all there for each other.

You are all in my prayers. may god be with you.

Iain.

[kip]

Condolences to You and Your Family Mark . Sorry for your sudden loss

[t5nyw]

condolences to all your family :waving-santa:

Like you i lost my MuM in March at 84 with COPD and later CDIFF complication in Hospital.

Me an my son were there when she passed away in the night, her favourite "Boys"

Being a parent i would say my mum passing was extremely sad, i know my time will come, but I'd hate to out live my children :santa:

Tony

Edited October 31, 2008 by T5NYW

[insane clown]

What can i say?.. i'm so overwelmed by the replies, i know it's not the normal kind of topic to post up...and thought it may not be the place, but this is the only place i know where you get help and understanding. my dad knew how i felt about my old scoobie, and it's strange in the same week i nearly bought Tims (pembswrx) black scoob, it fell through almost by accident..!!! i'm so glad i never spent the money, no-one was prepared for this and it's one thing my dad never spoke about,... he shall have the send off he deserves.

thanks again for all the support, you lot are my invisable best friends!!!

cheers,mark

[Gee]

Mark, i am so sorry to hear of your loss mate. I lost my mum 6 years ago suddenly and it hurts like hell i know.

Take comfort in the fact that nobody can take away your memories or the feelings that you had for him inside, time is a great healer Mark and it will become easier my friend.

Best wishes

Sean.

[Richie Cross]

Sorry for your loss.

My father in law died from cancer on Oct 4th and we're still coming to terms with it.

Even though it was a 2 year battle with prostate cancer it still comes as a shock.

We were just happy that the whole family were there at the time.

Time is a healer. Immerse yourself in family and friends.

You can rightly be sad but I bet there's a lot to be happy about as well if you think back through his life

and everything you did together.