Press Release!!

[ANDYJDMSTI]

-------------------------------PRESS RELEASE---------------------------------

Halifax Building Society is very pleased to announce that they are installing new "Drive Thru" Cash Dispensers.

To enable customers to gain maximum benefit from this new facility they have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.

AS FOLLOWS:

Procedures for MALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine

2. Wind down your car window

3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw

5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt

6. Wind up window

7. Drive off

Procedures for FEMALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine

2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine

3. Re-start the stalled engine

4. Wind down the window

5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card

6. Turn the radio down

7. Attempt to insert card into machine

8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car

9. Insert card

10. Re-insert card the right way up

11. After `Invalid Card''' is displayed , remove the Marks and Spencers / Habitat / B&Q / Harrods card and insert correct bank card.

12. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page

13. Enter PIN

14. Press `cancel', and re-enter correct PIN

15. Enter amount of cash required

16. Check make-up in rear view mirror

17. Retrieve cash and receipt

18. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside

19. Place receipt in back of chequebook wallet and return contents to handbag.

20. Re-check make-up

21. Drive forward 2 metres

22. Reverse back to cash machine

23. Retrieve card

24. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided

25. Restart stalled engine and pull off

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles

27. Release handbrake.

 

[][][][]

[fai17]

That sound about right Andy....lol lol[]

[vicki]

Andy, you're naughty!! []

and so are you Peter for laughing lol

[dougster]

Thatt is so untrue........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All that time and no text messages sent?

[ANDYJDMSTI]

  Quote

Thatt is so untrue........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All that time and no text messages sent?

 

PMSL []

[colin_ross]

And all for no reason.

When was the last time you saw a women spend her OWN money???

[ian_finlayson]

I've seen something similer happen to that. Oh yes in the petrol station.

 

Remember the five point check when you first get in the car.

1 Adjust seat,

2 Mirrors

3 Seatbelt

4Handbrake

5 Neutral

Then start.

Women have any number more you can think of

Make up, phone, purse annoy the man waiting behind her!!!!!!

Old folks just seem to have a wee snooze after all the stress of  using those new fangled pump things and magic cards which pay for money.

[st3ph3n]

As seen in concert square car park in Glasgow once:

Woman in a rover metro. Easy car to get close to things you'd think. NOPE. She can't quite reach the ticket machine to put her ticket in so she leverages herself out the car. "What did she use to push herself out, Stephen?" I hear you ask. WELL! She put her right foot on the accelerator (in neutral) and pushed herself out. The poor wee car screamed for all its life before giving up with a bit of a bang and a cloud of smoke. She got the ticket in the machine alright, but would the car actually go anymore? NO!

[micra_wrc]

PMSL

"8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car"

my excuse is that no matter how much i try and park next to the machine so I can reach it without opening the car door, my wee arms can never comfortably reach the machine thro the window cos i'm scared of parking too close and scratching the car, wheels, wing mirrors etc.

We're just ickle people []

[warby]

So ture Andy and funny.

[SEEVERS]

I my....get yersel a wee booster cushion...lol.

 

Del.

[weeb]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

brilliant!! pmsl!

[micra_wrc]

  Quote

I my....get yersel a wee booster cushion...lol.

Del.

LOL [] [Y] [}]

edited to add that perhaps I should get weeb one..........

[the squiggle]

  Quote

I my....get yersel a wee booster cushion...lol.

 

Del.

I should not really say this but Imy has her own booster cushion when she drives a Subaru, helps her see over that bloody scoop.

Though she is the best female driver i have ever had the pleasure of sitting in with, just a tad ickle with a problem seeing over that bloody scoop on the bonnet.

Grant