shescooby

Morning all 4 days to christmas whoooo hoooo Kaz

Morning All It's Friday yippee Kaz

Hi and welcome Kaz

For those who didnt get the Calendar then send me a PM and I will pop one in the post Also for those who are new members and renewed you will be receiving your SWRT code in the next couple of days For those who forgot to renew if you do you will get the latest edition of TG with Calendar and SWRT code Cheers Kaz

Louise Well done mate, thumbs up to you 4 stone brilliant I am still losing weight, well trying lol 2 stone and 7llb so far, its hard but if you really want something in life you work at it Well done Kaz

Glad you like it Its a very good write up Kaz

Boom boom I like that one Kaz

thumbs up love it and of course Justine does a fantastic job again He done mine Kaz

Guys We are currently adding a new Server and the forum is being updated hence why its running slow at times Please bear with us we are working at speeds to sort it Kaz

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um..equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted

Two ninety year old men, Nev and Vic, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Vic is dying, and so Nev comes to visit him every day. "Vic," says Nev, "You know how we have both loved cricket all our lives, and how we played together for so many years. Vic, you have to do me one favour. When you get to Heaven, and I know you will, somehow you've got to let me know if there's cricket in Heaven." Vic looks up at Nev from his death bed, and says, "Nev, you've been my best friend many years. If it is at all possible, I'll do for you." And shortly after that, Vic passes on. It is midnight a couple of nights later. Nev is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calls out to him, "Nev....Nev...." "Who is it?" says Nev sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?" "Nev, it's me, Vic." "Come on. You're not Vic. Vic just died." "I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Vic!" "Vic ? Is that you? Where are you?" "I'm in heaven," says Vic , "and I've got to tell you, I've got really good news and a little bad news." "So, tell me the good news first," says Nev "The good news is that there is cricket in heaven. Better yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet, we're all young men again. Better yet, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play cricket all we want, and we never get tired!" "Really?" says Nev, "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest dreams! But, what's the bad news?" "You're opening the batting next Tuesday"

The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995 between a U.S. Navy ship and the British authorities off the Scottish North coast. The transcript was released by the MoD on the 10/10/95. BRITISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision. U.S. NAVY: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. U.S. NAVY: This is the Captain of U.S. Navy Ship, I say again, divert YOUR course. BRITISH: Negative, I say again, you will have to divert your course. U.S. NAVY: THIS IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET, WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS, DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. BRITISH: WE ARE A LIGHTHOUSE. F*CK OFF

I saw it it was a very good programme, made you think how short life can be

I look after you lot or at least I try

Top night my Mum and Dad enjoyed it as well Well done guys And I won one of the Raffles first ever raffle I won in my life Kaz

Glad you got your Packs Also Glad you like the cards The Sorting office loved me yesterday the amount of memberships a packages I had to send out lol They had some work to do for a change!! lol Kaz

Steve Sell something off ya car Like a wheel or something lol

Guys just a quick note to say that got your orders and will be processing them shortly However you didnt get reminder due to the website and database having some major changes for the better of course so this is making everything run a tad slower.

Well have made a complaint to the Police Complaints Authority They said that they will investigate. Just think they could have pulled us on a better lit road and well not in a frightening way, Like people said all i could have known was that I was being Hijacked!! Will keep ya all informed Kaz

Kip you know I am a Girl Racer lol Kaz

Yeah lucky we didnt get done for my PINK SIDE LIGHTS and flames and also the size and loud exhaust Bit of a scarey moment for all of us, but all ok now

Yeah I did appreciate what they did but you know it would happen if either one of us had our car stolen Think they had nothing to do lol

Yeah Kiddies are ok now think they are looking at it now as quite exciting my 6 year old cant wait to tell her class hmmm wonder what they think of her mummy now lol

I Know makes you laugh If my car was stolen and you phoned them they wouldnt want to know

After having a fantastic time at Santa Pod yesterday and last night and after spending at least two hours trying to get out as there was an accident on the main road. We just came out of Milton Keynes and hit a nice Duel Carridge way so thought ooh lets have a play (friends were following us) had some good flames etc not driving mad as I had Ellie and 10yr old Little David in the car so driving fast wasnt on the agenda, we came up to a round about that hits Buckingham and my moby rang it was our friends that were behind us telling us that we had the police behind us, so took it easy etc etc well within the speed limits. Driving along this very very Dark road a car was coming the other way with its main beam on blinding me big time I was doing about 50 (speed limit) and slowed right down to about 20 as I couldnt see and could see this car coming towards us it was on our side of the road, I thought Sh!t whats this T0$$er doing, then as I had to a stop cos my life flashed in front of me, thought I was going to be hit head on, Ellie was crying and Little David was really scared only to frind when it stopped in front of us it was a police riot van with its main beam on and blue flashing lights, but we couldnt see the blue flashing lights as his head lights were on full!! Anyway then there were 4 coppers opening my door and one of them turned the car off and grabbed the keys, he had a real big attitude,asked if this was my vehicle, er yes officer he said can you proove it? er yeah officer.... he said he had been following me and saw me playing and flaming, to which I responded well the car is a turbo and they do flame!! I cant help that :S he said that he had done a PNC check and that the number plate wasnt registered with this car!!! By this time Ellie was very upset as she was asleep and awoke whilst we were panicing when the Riot van coming towards us, and so was little David very upset, they lifted the bonnet and was checking the chassis number etc. They didnt even ask my name or anything, Then the young copper said he was sorry but it needed to be checked and that it could have been a typo error back at their end, Are the police capable of making such a error by getting my number plate wrong? Mean while my friends were parked behind the police car behind me...... Anyway after being there for a futher 10 or 15 mins or so the Young one said that they have to do this, meaning parking a riot van in front of the car and a copper car behind blocking me in, as if it is stolen then the person driving the stolen car wont be able to drive away and if the astra police car did put on there blue lights without riot van the stolen car would have just gone the police wouldnt of kept up!! Fair enough as I appreciate what they did cos if my car was stolen they would have caught them or got my car back But in the mean time they scared the living daylights of me and Dave and Ellie and little David And one bonus they didnt do me for anything not even my PINK SIDE LIGHTS They didnt even ask for any details Kaz