While I was driving down the M8 the other day, (going a little
faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a
policeman on the other side with a radar gun, laying in wait. The policeman
pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic, patronising
smirk, asked:
"Runway too short Sir?"
To which I replied. "I'm late for work"
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher" I responded.
The policeman was surprised and confused.
"A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said "I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand in, work side to
side until I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely stretch
the hole until it's about 6 feet"
Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do
you do with a six-foot ar sehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give it a radar gun and park it behind a
Bridge!"
Speeding ticket: £105
Court Costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless!