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Two Funnies


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Gas man knocks on a house door. Little boy answers wearing lipstick, knee high boots, stockings, suspenders & smoking a joint. Gas man says: "Is your mum in son" Little boy replies: "Does it fu**ing look like it!"

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Paddy says to Murphy "Murph, when them scuba divers go into the water how come they always fall in backwards?"

Murphy replies "away he daft fu**er, if they fell forwrds they would still be in the fookin boat"!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

will add my funny to this thread rather than start a new one

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural.

No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Kenneth Roberts, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

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