z1000 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Why Men are never Depressed Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000, tux rental-$100 . People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Y our belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Link to comment
the squiggle Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Right now i feel like jumping off the Erskine Bridge or sticking a gun in my mouth and blowing my brains out. With this in mind i have to disagree with the first sentence The rest rings a distant bell Link to comment
STI9 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I know of a job lot of chocolate on the go,but its made from GOATS milk so its going to cost and depress.[:'(] Link to comment
micra_wrc Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 hahaha........ very good..... I bet your chest is all puffed up with manly pride now its such an unfair advantage that you men can pee standing up [:'(] Link to comment
billyboy Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Everything ending in "ing" belongs to your mrs. For example: cleaning.ironing.washing ,shopping and hoovering etc For a guy its :driving.bevvying and sha no better not post that up.lol Link to comment
lestippp Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I resemble that statement!! [] Link to comment
frank c Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 PMSL.... Hopefully things aren't that bad Grant..your more than welcome to some of my medication buddy.[:|] Link to comment
monkip1 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 hahaha........ very good..... I bet your chest is all puffed up with manly pride now its such an unfair advantage that you men can pee standing up [:'(] Lol have you not seen the "Full Monty". lol Link to comment
craig79 Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Laughed out loud there - got a few funny looks [] Craig. Link to comment
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