A little old lady answered a Knock on the door,
to be met by a man carrying a Vacum Cleaner,
He siad if i could just take a couple of Moments of your time?
Fv(k off! She said,
Next thing he empties a bucket of horse Sh!t on her hallway floor
+ says if this vacum cleaner doesnt remove all traces of this Horse SH!T ,
Madam i will eat the remainder.
Well she says i hope you have a good appetite,
Because the electricity was cut off this morning!!
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Little girl goes 2 a barbers with her dad & stands next 2 thechair eating a cake,
whilst her dad gets a hair cut,
Barber smiles @ her & says "your going to get hair on your muffin."
"i know" she says "im going to get tits aswell you dirty Ba5tard"
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Woman in B&Q buying a mirror.
Helper says, "Hello madame would you like a screw for that mirror?"
She replies, "No but i'll suck your co(k for the lawnmower!!"