herbie Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Toilet Humour.... Here's some crap jokes on various subjects...... on boozing...... There are only two times I like a drink. Day time and night time Some people say the glass is half empty, others say half full. Me? I say time for another drink!! A copper stopped me the other night and says....."Could you blow into this bag?" "What for officer?" He says "My chips are too hot!" lol I went into this pub, and i ate a ploughmans lunch. He was livid! Put downs Your so bald, when you wear a sweater you look like a roll on deodorant! Your nose is so big when you wake up you can smell the coffee.....in Brazil! Your so bald when you do a combover, you use the hairs on your arse! He's so short he could quite literally lose himselve in a book! on Sex You know that look women get when they want sex? ....Me neither! I remember when safe sex was a padded headboard Im glad im not bisexual. I coundnt stand being rejected by men as well as women I still enjoy sex at 55. I live at number 53 so Ive only to hop over the fence!! I always talk to my wife after sex......if i can find the mobile. Is it wrong to have sex before marriage? Only if it makes you late for the ceremony! 'Er Indoors My wifes a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects! Me and the wife were happy for 20years.....then we met each other. I was cleaning the attic out the other day with the wife. Filthy, dirty and covered with cobwebs....but she's great with the kids! Instead of getting married, im just going to find a women I dont like and give her a house! My wife had a go at me last night. She said...you'l drive me to my grave! I had the car out in 30 seconds I take my wife everywhere. But she always finds her way home The Mother in Law Coincidence? Anagram of Mother in Law is Woman Hitler! The wife's mother said....when your dead, i'll dance on your grave. I said great! Im being buried at sea I saw 6 men punch and kick the mother in law. My neighbour said, are you going to help???? I said...no 6 six should be enough! I took the mother in law to the chamber of horrors and one of the attendants said....Keep her moving on sir, were stocktaking. Mother in law was bitten by a dog yesterday. She's fine but the dog died. I can tell when the mother in laws coming to stay........the mice throw themselves on the traps!
dougster Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 brrrrrrrrrrr tshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Do you have a day job?
vicki Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Hee hee, I love jokes, its actually the only think I can reply to lol
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