O/T --- strange but true !!!

[2559B]

The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death

No word in the English language rhymes with month

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure

The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night

The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

[ian_craig2]

you have to much time on yer hands young fella me lad

[Vixter]

We eat 8 spiders in a life time

[st3ph3n]

Well the common agreement of continent tends to seperate North America and South America into 2 seperate ones. So that sort of knackers that really.

[ally-b]

May have been posted before . . . but there's some beauts here . . .

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,

"Thyroid problem?"

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, God doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names but one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade

Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ?Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough'

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

Peter Kay's questions;

Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your a*se?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Kathy, and I am an alcoholic'?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries? have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Spaghetti?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

Peter Kay's Universal Truths;

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger

You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps

Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator - then turned the figures upside down

Reading when you're drunk is horrible

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl

You never know where to look when eating a banana

It?s impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat

Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity

Some days you see lots of people on crutches

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush

Old women with mobile phones look wrong

It?s impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited

You never ever run out of salt

Old ladies can eat more than you think

You can't respect a man who carries a dog

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their

arm broken by a swan

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug

People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose

Bricks are horrible to carry

In every plate of chips there is a bad chip

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

[2559B]

<< Well the common agreement of continent tends to seperate North America and South America into 2 seperate ones. So that sort of knackers that really. >>

spot the smart-ass <<<< for the sole purpose of this thread we'll just make the americas one big happy family !!!!

now i have been humbled and my credibility lies in tatters. I request this thread be removed from the forum !! ............ "oh moderator???"