A wee Smile for Monday Mornin'

[C J K]

One for the Weegies ......

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN LIVING IN GLASGOW TOO LONG WHEN...

1. YOU SAY "PISH" ALL THE TIME!

2. YOU SAY "AYE" ALL THE TIME!

3. YOU END SENTENCES WITH "MAN" I.E..

" AYE, THAT PLACE IS PURE PISH, MAN!"

4. YOU THINK McEWANS LAGER IS GREAT, IGNORING THE FACT IT "TASTES OF PISH MAN"

5. YOU GET AN URGE TO DECK EVERYBODY YOU MEET.

6. YOU DECK EVERYBODY YOU MEET.

7. PEOPLE SEEM TO BE SCARED OF YOU WHEN YOU TELL THEM WHERE YOUR FROM.

8. YOU AUTOMATICALLY GET THE URGE TO KILL ON HEARING THE WORDS

"EDINBURGH" OR "ENGLAND"

9. YOU LET YOUR 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SMOKE AT THE DINNER TABLE IN FRONT OF HER KIDS.

10. YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES AND STILL HAVE THE SAME IN-LAWS.

11. YOU THINK A WOMAN'S "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE" BECAUSE SHE ASKS FOR A GLASS WITH HER TENNENTS SUPER.

12. THE PHRASE "THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!" REMINDS YOU THE OFF-LICENSE HAS JUST OPENED.

13. YOU WISH YOUR TOILET WAS AS CLEAN AS THE ONE IN THE BUS STATION.

14. AT LEAST ONE MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY HAS DIED RIGHT AFTER SAYING

"HEY, WATCH THIS!"

15. YOU THINK DOM PERIGNON IS A MAFIA LEADER

16. YOUR WIFE'S HAIRDO IS RUINED BY A CEILING FAN.

17. ONE (OR MORE) OF YOUR KIDS WAS CONCEIVED ON A PUB POOL TABLE.

18. YOUR BACK DOOR COAL BUNKER IS IDEAL FOR THE ROTTWEILER TO RAISE ITS PUPS.

19. YOU ONLY NEED ONE MORE STAMP ON YOUR CARD TO GET A FREEBIE AT TAM'S TATTOOS

20. YOU THINK "LOADING THE DISHWASHER" MEANS GETTING YOUR MISSUS PISHED.

21. FONDLY ADMIT TO HAVING OWNED A SHELLSUIT

22. ACTUALLY STILL WEAR A SHELL SUIT

23. ACCEPT THE FACT A MARSBAR SUPPER HAS PROGRESSED FROM FUN NOVELTY TO STAPLE DIET

24. THE SOUNDTRACK ON YOUR WEDDING VIDEO ENDS WITH THE LOUDHAILER

MESSAGE: "THIS IS THE POLIS!"

just a laugh guys

[Grovit]

LOLup - excellent

[ANDYJDMSTI]

FPMSL

[DEVLIN]

[p3dro]

f***g hilarious but I'm an edinburger. I have heard the alternative edinburgh one but can't find it

[the squiggle]

Being born and bred in Glasgow i feel i must take a fence at the remarks posted above. Bordering on Glaswegianism and i shall be contacting my brief to take things further

Grant

[ANDYJDMSTI]

<< Being born and bred in Glasgow i feel i must take a fence and anything else not nailed down. Bordering on Glaswegianism and i shall be hoickin my briefs up over my head in a dirty protest at the above remarks!!!

Grant >>

Grant,

you not taking things abit personal man????

[wrxmania]

Yes,

I can see most of those are often true (certainly wher I'm fae Man, and that was pure pish n'at, MAN!). If not me then certainly the rest of my Easterhouse cronies and family !!

Brian

[the squiggle]

Bad day at work

Checked with my brief and his reply was "Get a grip of yer Y's ya bam"

So it looks as if im going to drown my sorrows in some Irn-Bru and deep fried Mars bars

Grant

[C J K]