RedNick

Queen[]

SP I touch goats

A man is sitting in a plane which is about to takeoff when another man with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside. The dog is sat in the middle, and the first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline. The Airline Rep. said, "Don't mind Rover, he is a sniffer dog - the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne and I set him to work." The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Rover, search." The dog jumps down, walks along the aisle and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm. He says, "Good boy." He turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this and the seat number, for the police who will apprehend her on arrival." "Fantastic!" replies the first man. Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles. The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat and places both paws on the handler's arm. The Airline Rep. says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of this, and the seat number." "I like it!" says the first man. Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles. Rover goes up and down the plane aisle and after a while sits down next to someone, and then comes racing back and jumps up onto the seat and cr@ps all over the place. The first man is surprised and disgusted by this and asks "What the bloody hell is going on?" The handler nervously replies, "He just found a bomb..."

A young blonde woman in Plymouth was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself from the Tamar Bridge. She went down to the bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a Piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, who's stowed me away" She explained, "I get food and free passage to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "this is the Torpoint Ferry."

Are those at the wheels figures or flywheel?

Awesome[H]

5 years ago my son died as a result of a horrific brain injury sustained in a RTA, was I offended by the program, NO, I just get on with my life and live my life to the full the way my son did, the way he would have wanted me to, if I took offence to half the shite they put on TV I would never watch the box again. LIFE GOES ON

I need to lease a new van in a couple of months, I'm looking at the Volkswagon Transporter t28/30 range with 2.5 130hp tdi. Have any of you had experience with one of these,good or bad? Also are there any decent alternatives available not a Vito though as the last 1 I had spent more time in the dealers being fixed than working with me. Cheers for any replies Nick

Would be there with bells on , but not on that date worse day of the year for us sorry.

Cheers SP right back at ya

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little over 600 employees and has the following statistics? 29 have been accused of spouse abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time for assault 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shoplifting 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits 84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year Which organization is this you might ask? It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. VIVE LA REVOLUTION!!

Olympics

Awesome pictures of a truley great couple of days Thanks Richard

Awesome pressie mate someone must really love you, I had an original Les Paul when I was at college but had to sell it when i was skint, the biggest mistake of my life, I'd give anything to have another one.

If it's anything like your singing at Pontins I would stick to the fighting How's everyone down that end of the world? Hiya Kev everyones cool down this ,trust you and yours are all well Have a good Xmas and new year mate Nick