SENSE OF HUMOUR!
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
Eleanor Roosevelt
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year
Victor Borge
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if
you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you.
Winston Churchill
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old
to go any where.
Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.