mick_weatherill Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 > >A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight >around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place into his >sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is >watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his >flashlight,and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked on the light again, and began searching for more valuables. Just as >he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell, >he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out now, he shone the light >around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the >corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you >say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed. "I'm just >trying to warn you."The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the hell are >you?" >"I'm Moses," replied the bird. "Moses," the burglar laughed. "What kind of >stupid people would name a parrot Moses?" >Probably the same kind of people that would name their rottweiler Jesus," >
mick_weatherill Posted October 14, 2006 Author Posted October 14, 2006 A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off to the doctors. "Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag. "Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a couple of days." The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results. "What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag. "I'm afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor. "No, I can't be - I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper bag. "Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor. "NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!" "Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?" asked the doctor. "NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!" "Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor. "NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little paper bag!" "Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?" "NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just a little paper bag!" "Then there can be only one explanation." said the doctor SCROLL DOWN this is good - wait for it .... .... ... . ... . ....... "Your mother must have been a carrier" ***********************************************
baser999 Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 Gentle humour to get the day started....very good
Dalthegooner Posted October 14, 2006 Posted October 14, 2006 First one was funny [Y] The neighbours could hear me groaning at the second one []
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