micra_wrc Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 I know females are in the minority here but thought I'd share this with you guys to illustrate what we women have to put up with [] The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. Wife vs Husband A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws Women's Revenge "Cash, check or charge?" the sales assistant asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet the assistant noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" the assistant asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." Understanding Women (A man's perspective) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" Creation A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time". The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! Who does what A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS" God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
slo2 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 []I think everyone is feart to respond. I have heard most of these before direct from the boss. C u tonight ! And the squirrel (thats if you allow him to come )
micra_wrc Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 [] surely not... have I silenced the chatterboxes?
scientific steve Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 i think that most of the blokes dont want to say anything due to the fact that the truth hurts [][][] stands back and puts on the flack jacket
vicki Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 Can't believe I nearly missed this [] Fantastic Imy and extremely funny [Y]
craigdmcd Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 Imy, you forgot the part where women over-analyse everything Her Diary entry: Was out with the girls for lunch and shopping today. Got a little carried away with drinks early this evening when leaving the girls, and was late meeting my darling boyfriend for dinner. I think I really annoyed him by being late as he barely said 2 words over dinner no matter how much I tried to lighten the situation. We went home together and he sat there lifeless as he watched the TV, and seemed to get more annoyed as time went by. I got changed in to my sexiest underwear and tried to lure him in to bed. He eventually came up 45 mins later, and had a quicky. I think he's lost interest in me or has found another girlfriend. I don't know what I'll do. MY LIFE IS OVER!!! His Diary entry Really hard day at work today- absolutely knackered. My team got beat at football tonight - gutted. Got my hole though.
micra_wrc Posted August 10, 2006 Author Posted August 10, 2006 haha, very true craig very true. We women over analyse everything [] and another cloud of confusion that i had has dissappeared....... there ARE two Vicky's on this forum - one spelt with a "Y", user name in lower case that I'm guessing does the rally navigating, sells random used impreza parts and stays in Fife....... and one spelt with an "I", user name upper case that I've met once, drives a silver classic and stays in Hamilton....... aha [8-)]
Vicky Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 Quote haha, very true craig very true. We women over analyse everything []and another cloud of confusion that i had has dissappeared....... there ARE two Vicky's on this forum - one spelt with a "Y", user name in lower case that I'm guessing does the rally navigating, sells random used impreza parts and stays in Fife....... and one spelt with an "I", user name upper case that I've met once, drives a silver classic and stays in Hamilton....... aha [8-)] Yup, i'm the one that stays in Fife and does the navigating etc, lol.
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