O/T JOKE

[RA Dunk]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a

handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went

to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any

jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told

her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to

her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around

the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered,

"and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man

reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added,

"that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[bigdavie]

lovin it !! brilliant !!

just gonna tell the mrs !! see if she gets it !!!!

[dougster]

Is this a wind up or what..............................

[terminator]

old ones r the best.

[andy]

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final

plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win £1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the £32,000 milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-pound question was no pushover.

It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own

nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it: A)

the condor; the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?"

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was

doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask The Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend

Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have

to use it - mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home

happened to be a blonde. But she had no alternative.

She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered

employing a reverse strategy and giving Tarrant any answer except the one

that her friend had given her. And, considering that her friend was a

blonde, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand,

the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the

contestant could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Tarrant.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Tarrant.

"Yes, that is my final answer."

  Tarrant said, "I regret to inform you that that answer is... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and

friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million.

"Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a

millionaire. And do you know something? It was the certainty with which

you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By

the way...how did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks!