O/T........God vs Satan!!

[ANDYJDMSTI]

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,

cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live

long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Crème Donuts. And

Satan said "You want chocolate with that?" and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said, "and while you're

at it add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And

Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And

Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery

croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil  in which to cook them." And

Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken and fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and said "It is good." Satan

then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food".

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan

gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man

and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan

peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man

gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and its £1 double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?"

and Man replied "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said "It is good." And Man went into cardiac

arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created the National Health Service.

Thought for the day

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge

erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them....  

 

 

[][][]

[oz *sti*]

well wrote Andy, and so very true mate[Y][]

[oletam]

Story of my life[:$]

[micra_wrc]

i dont think Ben & Jerry's ice cream is devil's food []

imy

[fai17]

God gave chinese man a hot wok for stir fry..........great cooking

Satan gave scottish man a mircowave for convinent cooking.......terrible cooking

[ANDYJDMSTI]

 convinent

 

What have Nuns got to do with this????  [8-)][]

[Gumball]

very well cut and pasted YGC