The Glasgow Herald Disaster Appeal

[colinj]

As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the

Richter scale struck Glasgow in the early hours. At the epicentre in

Easterhouse, victims were seen roaming around aimlessly muttering

"wheeys keeys are theese". The earthquake decimated the entire area

causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several priceless collections

of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond repair.

Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven years old

were disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's arrived.

The Glasgow Herald reported that hundreds of locals were confused,

bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of

Ladbrokes.

One resident a Miss Sharon MacLafferty, a 15 year old mother of six

said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came into

my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my youngest

two Tyler Morgan , Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept through it

all. I was still shaking whilst watching River City the next day".

Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal.

The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into

the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still

searching through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of

belongings including Benefit Books, jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at

Argos and finest bone china from Poundstretcher's.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those

caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst

the most sought after items are;

Fila or Burberry Baseball Caps

Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers)

Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length,

White Socks

Rockport Boots

and anything else from the Donnay shop

Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should

include Micro Meals, Fried Mars Bars, Pot Noodles, Baked Beanz,

Super Noodles, Sausage Rolls and Greggs pasties for the babies.

Special Brew, Aftershock, or Thunderbird would also be gratefully

received.

Every little helps.

Remember:

22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form £2.00 buys chips

with curry and blue Panda pop for a family of nine.

£5.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves of a

grieving ten year old.

Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh

accommodation is unfair on the residents of Blackhill and Pollok

[weeb]

oh......................my heart goes out to all affected by this!! NOT!

The Barras has a good deal on socks just now i believe, i heard wan sales guy shout "get ur white sports socks 2 for a poond, c`mon noo 2 for a poond!" mite be worth a gander when u get the charity money!

My wee brother has a faded and well used burberry long sleeved shirt, would this be of any use?

<< The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into >>

Will this be too much for the stricken area and do you think the red cress would consider awarding donators with some cans of lager?