I was doing some decorating and needed my stepladder - I've never got on with my real ladder.
I went to a restaurant that served "breakfast at any time" so I ordered french toast at the time of the Renaissance.
Sex is liking playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner you'll need a good hand.
Right now I have deja-vu and amnesia - I think I've forgotten this before.
Ever felt lonely? Well, I was the kid next doors imaginary friend.
Saw 6 blokes beating up the mother-in-law. My neighbour said "ain't you gonna help?" I replied "no, six should be enough"
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Animal testing is cruel - they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Well, I never said they were going to be THAT funny []