THURSDAY FUNNIES

[baser999]

.....with thanks to Tommy Cooper

My mates in love with 2 schoolbags........he's bi-satchel

Phoned the local ramblers association today but the bloke just went on and on and on....

I was in the jungle and saw a monkey in a tree with a can opener. I said you won't need that for the banana. I know he replied its for the tin of custard.

A lorry load of tortoises ran into a lorry load of terrapins.....turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I worked at the bowling alley   'Tenpin?'  No, permanent.

Went into a shop and said 'can someone sell me a kettle?'  'Kenwood'....who's he I said.

What do you think of voluntary work? Wouldn't do it even if you paid me.

Cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says 'Audi'

Went to buy a train ticket today and the conductor said 'Eurostar'. I said I'd been on telly but was no Dean Martin.

Phoned the local gym and asked if they could teach me how best to exercise. 'How flexible are you?' I told them I couldn't make Tuesday or Thursday.

Visited the local RSPCA today. Offices were so small you couldn't swing a cat in there.

Fancied a game of darts with my mate - nearest the bull goes first. He went 'baaah' I went 'moooh' so he said 'you're closest'

Bought some Armegeddon cheese today. Packet said 'best before the End'

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[mark_sheepwash]

Very good LOL

[Guest leebo77]

FPMSL []

[ROAR]

lol, the old ones are the best

[baser999]

lol, the old ones are the best

I think that every morning when I look in the mirror lol

[yogi-]

lol, the old ones are the best

I think that every morning when I look in the mirror lol

No way you can't you're only 24!!!!! Mrs Yogi - Yes I have hijaked the pc - It is a COUP!!!