if u get pulled...

[2559B]

if your unlucky enough to have a run in with her majestys finest constabulary.. heres a few thing not to say!!...

can you hold my beer?

i thought policemen were meant to be fit?

110mph! really?? thought it was faster than that!!!

i pay your wages mate!

it's ok officer i saw the camera... my laser jammer is on!

your lookin' good! how are the rest of the village people?

bald tyres!? no, there racing slicks!!

thats a nice gun...wanna see mine?

volvo t-5 eh? fancy a wee race?

i was gonna be a cop..but i got a good job instead

want a donut?

[Madmonk]

Class

Gordy

[MS S6CUB]

DONT TELL THE WORLDS WORST COP JOKE

Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms.

"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.

"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head.

BONG!!!

"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?"

"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"

Quasimodo came out and said...

"I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"

... well i laughed

[ANDYJDMSTI]

TAXI!!!!!!!!!

[wilky]

indeed..........................................(Cue tumbleweed...........)

[2559B]

oohhhh!!!!.....

[andy]

<< i was gonna be a cop..but i got a good job instead >>

I've always liked (but never had the balls to use) "I applied to join the Police, but they knocked me back when they found out my parents were married"

Dedicated to Fat Bike Cop who radioed ahead to his mates in Fort Will last May saying I'd been drinking at the Inn At Ardgour "all day" who subsequently pulled and breathalysed me. Sorry mate, one pint of lager shandy ain't "all day" and certainly ain't gonna put anyone over the limit.

[ian_craig2]

man gets pulled by the cops .

young copper(yc): right sir before i do ya for speeding a few details... occupation.?

driver(d) : anal stretcher officer.

yc: what?

d: anal stretcher!

yc: how do you do that sir???

d: well i get 2 fingers from each hand insert them in an arsehole and pull it till its at least 6ft wide!

yc: and what then sir when its stretched?????

d: then i give it a skipped hat and a car with flashing blue lights....................