And Another By Ronnie Barker Smile It Costs Nowt!

[badpenny1]

This sketch was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read.......

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and ugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother

told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping ba*** over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knockedon Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls anda hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

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[granby]

Quality so un PC and all the better for it, probably no complaints because there weren't any iucking fdiots who had nothing better to do

[pmacFTO]

Copied from another forum but it's how I feel too - no way would RB do something as crude:

"I'm suprised this hasn't turned up on snopes as fake yet. The Rindercella routine was actually written by Archie Campbell and although I'm fairly certain that Ronnie Barker did do Rindercella I'm certain it was nothing like this. All of the changes from Campbells original serve only to make it more vulgar and that simply wasn't Barkers style. If Ronnie Barker did rework Campbells routine the changes would have been far more witty than to simply add more swearing and vulgarity. Although I wouldn't be suprised if he added something like knucking fackered I'd be very suprised if he added "dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks", this simply lacks the subtlety that elevated Barker to genius. Don't get me wrong, this edited version of Archie Campbells routine is amusing (although I'm not sure it is more amusing than the original) but I do not think attributing this to Ronnie Barker does justice to the memory of a comic genius."

Nuff said

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJv_YXIXBsE

Edited April 16, 2009 by pmacFTO

[granby]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaUuIJpOzAA...=PL&index=1

[scoobytibs]

ronnie is the top man quality

[badpenny1]

Copied from another forum but it's how I feel too - no way would RB do something as crude:

"I'm suprised this hasn't turned up on snopes as fake yet. The Rindercella routine was actually written by Archie Campbell and although I'm fairly certain that Ronnie Barker did do Rindercella I'm certain it was nothing like this. All of the changes from Campbells original serve only to make it more vulgar and that simply wasn't Barkers style. If Ronnie Barker did rework Campbells routine the changes would have been far more witty than to simply add more swearing and vulgarity. Although I wouldn't be suprised if he added something like knucking fackered I'd be very suprised if he added "dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks", this simply lacks the subtlety that elevated Barker to genius. Don't get me wrong, this edited version of Archie Campbells routine is amusing (although I'm not sure it is more amusing than the original) but I do not think attributing this to Ronnie Barker does justice to the memory of a comic genius."

Nuff said

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJv_YXIXBsE

Get a life mate its supposed to be light hearted fun !! iloody bdiot