TAX CODE and others

[mickyw1]

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2008 Tax Code

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The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male p***s.

This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around

unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is

pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has

two dependents and they are both nuts!

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HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the p***s will now be taxed

according to size:

The brackets are as follows:

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10 - 12' Luxury Tax $300.00

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8 - 10' Pole Tax $250.00

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5 - 8' Privilege Tax $150.00

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3 - 5' Nuisance Tax $30.00

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Males exceeding 12' must file capital gains.

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Anyone under 4' is eligible for a tax refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

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EMOTION PARTY

A guy decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come as

different emotions e.g. Fear etc.

On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and the host

opens the door to see a guy covered in green paint with the letters

N and V painted on his chest.

He says to this guy, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?"

The guy says, "I'm green with NV".

The host replies, "Brilliant come on in and have a drink."

A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the

door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather

boa wrapped around her most intimate parts.

He says to this woman, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you

come as?"

She replies, "I'm tickled pink."

The host says, "I love it, come on in and join the party."

A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, and

the host opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Mick,

standing stark naked, one with his willy in bowl of custard and the

other with his willy stuck in a pear.

The host is really shocked and says, "What the hell are you both

doing? You could get arrested standing like that out there in the

street. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?"

Paddy replies, "Welllll, Oim fokn discustard, and Mick here has

just come in despair."

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.. Kill Her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, ' I tried, but I can't kill my wife.'

The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instruction, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'The bloody gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

Moral:

Women are evil. Don't mess with them

[dazzlers82]

[yogi-]

lmao!

Edited March 17, 2008 by yogi-

[swifty1981]