How Innicent Are Children!

[scooby princess]

Primary School Children Writing About The Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.(Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an a***hole on the top of its head.(Billy age 8)

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her f***y (Julie age 7).

Edited February 22, 2008 by SCOOBY PRINCESS

[Bailey73]

14) come on Daddy before I kick you in the conkers (Erin age 5 @ Chew Valley Lakes)

[scooby princess]

14) come on Daddy before I kick you in the conkers (Erin age 5 @ Chew Valley Lakes)

[Bailey73]

Did you hear her when she said that....

...I nearly wet myself. lol

[scooby princess]

heard a voice say it but thought it was parkers daughter chloe!

[Bailey73]

Nah, it was Erin. She must of heard me talking to someone about how she told the nursery teacher that daddy had big conkers. lol

[scooby princess]

bless here - have you got a conker tree in the garden then? We only have the apple tree

[Bailey73]

I don't know where it came from.....

...definately not Sam. lol

[jd]

was very funny when she said it.

[edmondo]

14) come on Daddy before I kick you in the conkers (Erin age 5 @ Chew Valley Lakes)

would have been a cracking shot

[edmondo]

Nah, it was Erin. She must of heard me talking to someone about how she told the nursery teacher that daddy had big conkers. lol