Sunday Jokes

[Baz69birds]

A little old lady answered a Knock on the door,

to be met by a man carrying a Vacum Cleaner,

He siad if i could just take a couple of Moments of your time?

Fv(k off! She said,

Next thing he empties a bucket of horse Sh!t on her hallway floor

+ says if this vacum cleaner doesnt remove all traces of this Horse SH!T ,

Madam i will eat the remainder.

Well she says i hope you have a good appetite,

Because the electricity was cut off this morning!!

........................................................

Little girl goes 2 a barbers with her dad & stands next 2 thechair eating a cake,

whilst her dad gets a hair cut,

Barber smiles @ her & says "your going to get hair on your muffin."

"i know" she says "im going to get tits aswell you dirty Ba5tard"

.........................................................

Woman in B&Q buying a mirror.

Helper says, "Hello madame would you like a screw for that mirror?"

She replies, "No but i'll suck your co(k for the lawnmower!!"